The Cake Is A Lie
by Bombshell1701
Summary: MOVIEVERSE. An incident with The Avengers causes Steve to reminisce about a surprise from the Howling Commandos back in the day. It's a bitter-sweet memory. Rated T for suggestiveness. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**The Cake Is A Lie**

"Cap, we need you in the war room, now!" Barton called urgently.  
Steve tossed down the documents he was looking over, and immediately followed Barton into the hallway.  
"What's happening?" he asked, jogging alongside the other man.  
"I don't know, but it's important. Everyone has been called down." Barton answered. He pulled up slightly, allowing Steve to enter the room first. The room was momentarily dark, but then suddenly a light was switched on.  
"Surprise!" the assembled group called.  
Steve reacted with shock: he dropped into a crouch, hands up in a defensive position in front of his face, chin down.  
The group looked at him with mixed reactions, and it was Tony who laughed.  
"At ease, soldier!" he drawled. "It's cake time!"  
"See, this is why I won't tell you when my birthday is" Bruce said.  
Steve's eyes were still wide with surprise, but it started to sink in. He dropped his hands and stood up, laughing at himself. "Nice" he murmured.  
"Happy birthday" Tony said, cracking a party popper over his head. Steve brush away the spray of confetti, and moved further into the room. He shot a look back over his shoulder to Barton, who shrugged.  
"Sorry, Cap. I was the bait, I guess."  
His teammates came forward one by one to apologise ("It was Tony's idea" was mentioned several times) and give him their best wishes.  
"C'mon, stop chit-chatting. I want sugar, cut the cake already!" Tony encouraged. He led Steve over to the conference table where the cake was waiting. It was big and round, decorated red, white and blue to look like his Captain America shield. He laughed. Natasha patted him on the back. "Don't worry, none of us made it- it's safe to eat."  
Steve picked up the knife and made to cut the cake.  
"Wait, aren't we going to sing happy birthday?" Tony interjected. He was met with several disapproving looks.  
"Okay... party poopers. Smile!" he said, moving on and snapping a picture of Steve with the knife in his hand.  
Steve blinked and made an incision.  
"You know, if the knife comes out dirty, you have to kiss Thor" Natasha said.  
"What?" The god of thunder questioned. "I have never heard of this Midgardian tradition!"  
"She's being a smart-ass; the tradition is that the person cutting the cake kisses someone of the opposite sex. She just doesn't want to volunteer herself." Barton explained.  
"Yeah, might get my heart broken" she said, giving Steve a small smile.  
Steve blushed and went back to cutting the cake and kissing no-one. He began offering up slices to his teammates. Pleasant silence descended upon the room as everyone enjoyed the rich, sugary treat.  
"You know" Tony mused between bites. "There was this story I overheard my old man telling once. I don't know if I remember it correctly, though... Or maybe I just didn't understand it at the time, because I was a kid. Something about a cake my dad got you...? A very unique, special cake?"  
Steve looked at Tony with narrowed eyes. Tony looked speculatively at him.  
"Refresh my memory?" Tony insisted.  
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Steve said quietly. The two men stared each other down.  
"Well, I suppose I could just tell it how I remember it... which is kinda' colourful..."  
Steve sighed. "You got me a cake just so you could make me tell this story, didn't you?"  
"No. I got you a cake because it's your birthday, and I wanted an excuse to eat cake. The _story_ is just the _icing_...pun intended."  
Bruce had been looking back and forth between the two men. "Is this a dirty story?" he asked with a hint of a smile.  
"No" Steve said quickly.  
"Yes" Tony said at the same time.  
"It's not dirty. It's _not_" he said, seeing the look Tony was giving him. "But it's... probably not something I'd tell in... polite company..." his eyes flicked to Natasha.  
"Please, I'm one of the guys, everyone knows it." Natasha drawled.  
"Oh, c'mon, Cap! You have to tell us now!" Barton urged.  
"Yes. It would be poor form to not to share your tale of a glorious adventure!" Thor insisted.  
Steve looked around at all their expectant faces. "Oh, hell!" he breathed.

_**London, England. July 1943**_

"You shouldn't have said anything to them, now's not the time to be celebrating" Steve scolded.  
Bucky grinned and clapped his best friend on the back. "There's no time like the present, Steve! Look, you gotta' celebrate while you can, tomorrow we could all be dead!"  
"That's cheerful" Steve said grimly.  
"C'mon. It's just the _Commandos_. No big deal. We'll just have a few drinks, a few laughs, kick back and relax. They want to celebrate with you, Steve, you're the Captain." Bucky said, suddenly quite serious.  
"All right" Steve said with a tiny smile. "Just a few drinks. We've got our next mission briefing at oh-seven-hundred tomorrow, we don't want to roll in looking like amateurs."  
"That's the spirit!" Bucky said, grinning. He led Steve through the _Pig and Whistle_ pub, to a private room at the back. The _Howling Commandos_ were lounging around a table in the centre of the room.  
"Well, if it ain't the birthday boy!" Dum-Dum Duggan roared, raising a half-empty schooner glass as Steve walked in. He was leaning back on his chair, both feet resting on the table. The other Commandos stood at a loose kind of attention.  
"Sir" Falsworth greeted.  
Steve smiled warmly. "At ease, guys."  
They smiled and settled back down, pulling up a spare seat for their captain.  
"I'll get us drinks" Bucky said. "Requests?"  
"Whatever you're drinking" Steve answered. Alcohol didn't seem to even touch the sides these days, so it didn't really matter to him.  
A hand clamped down firmly on his shoulder, and Steve startled slightly. He looked up to find Howard Stark grinning down at him.  
"Happy birthday, pal. The boys invited me along, hope you don't mind."  
"Not at all, Mister Stark" Steve said.  
"Please, please just call me Howard- you make me feel like an old man otherwise!" Howard said with a smile. Duggan caught Howard's eye.  
"You arrange that thing we talked about?" Duggan asked.  
Howard's eyes practically twinkled. "All set up, and raring to go!"  
Steve looked between the two men. "What did you set up?" he asked, concerned.  
"A surprise, my friend" Howard said smoothly.  
Bucky wandered back in with their drinks, setting a massive beer in front of Steve. "Hey Howard, is it party time?" he asked with a grin.  
"I think so..." Howard said, grinning knowingly.  
"First things first" Gabe chimed in. He raised his glass. "To the Cap!"  
They all raised their glasses to toast Steve.  
"Bonne anniversaire!" Dernier added.  
"Happy birthday to the best damn looking Captain in the US Army!" Morita added.  
Steve laughed.  
"And now!" Howard said, walking to the end of the room "It's cake time!"  
He pulled back a curtain at the end of the room to reveal an enormous layer cake. Duggan got to his feet and helped Howard push the cake out on a low wheeled table.  
"You got me a cake?" Steve puzzled. It really didn't look like any kind of cake he'd ever seen before. It took a moment for it to sink in that this cake was not made of flour and eggs or icing sugar: it looked like balsa wood and papier mache.  
"Uh, I don't think we can eat this" Steve murmured, puzzled.  
"Then you're doing something wrong." Duggan said with a wicked grin.  
"It _is_ quite delicious" Howard assured him.  
There was a thump and a rustling sound from inside the cake.  
"Oh, boy" Steve said uneasily.  
Suddenly there was a ripping sound, and with a soft crunch, and woman sprung up out of the cake.  
"Ta daa!" she cried.  
The other men went wild, clapping and cheering. Steve just sat frozen in his seat, his face a picture of shock. Bucky was laughing so hard Steve thought the other man my rupture an internal organ. He slapped Steve on the back.  
Howard helped the young woman out of the cake, and brought her over to Steve.  
"Mabel?" Steve cried, recognising her. She had been one of the USO girls he'd travelled around with on the war bonds tour.  
"It's nice to see you again, Captain Rogers, she said grinning. "Mister Stark here tracked some of the girls down to SoHo and asked for a volunteer to jump out of a cake!"  
"I... that's great..." Steve said, still reeling.  
"I thought you might like a night on the town with a pretty lady. Have some supper, do a little dancing. Mabel is a sweet girl; she'll make sure you get home safe," Howard said with a wink.  
"Oh, I don't know," Steve said uncertainly. "I've got an early start tomorrow, I was just going to have a quiet night with the boys." he studied his shoes, thinking how much they needed to be polished.  
Howard gave Mabel a little shove, and she fell into Steve's lap with a giggle. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  
"Don't you two look cosy!" Duggan teased.  
"Whaddia' say, Cap? It'll be a scream!" Mabel enthused.  
"I don't think... this isn't... It really isn't the best time" Steve muttered. He tried very gently to lift Mabel off his lap, but she squirmed in a way that made him feel very uneasy. He felt his face grow even more flushed, and he was pretty sure the back of his shirt would be soaked through with sweat in the next minute or so.

_**Now**_

His teammates laughed, but in a good-natured way. Steve blushed.  
"So then what happened?" Barton asked with a grin.  
"Nothing" Steve shrugged.  
"Whaddia' mean _nothing_?" Barton demanded.  
"I mean _nothing_ as in... nothing." Steve said plainly.  
"So you didn't go out dancing with poor _mmm_Mable" Natasha said, drawing out the other woman's name in a way that made it rather unseemly.  
"No dancing" Steve said definitively.  
"Please... tell me you at least made time for a little... _horizontal samba_?" Barton implied.  
"Horizontal... what?" Steve asked.  
Bruce kindly intervened. "He's being crude" He shot Barton a look "Degenerate" he muttered. Barton shrugged.  
"Well, your version is _considerably _less colourful than my dad's." Tony conceded. "He made it sound like her clothes were flying off very deliberately as she stepped out of the cake."  
This drew another round of laughter from the group.  
Steve's face burned. "That didn't happen! Her clothes stayed on, I swear!" he insisted.  
Tony chuckled and patted him on the back.  
"So that's it?" Thor wondered aloud.  
"That's it" Steve admitted with a shrug.  
Thor considered him. "You need better stories."  
Steve smiled sheepishly. "I guess I'm not that kind of guy."  
"Aww, we love you just the way you are, Captain Modesty" Tony said dryly. "Even if your stories do suck."

_TBC_

_Author's note:_ These characters don't belong to me: we all work for free, I just give them cake. Also, I did some guesstimating to come up with 1943, so I hope that seems right. You can actually stop reading this right here, or if you want a little extra mayhem, there's a prologue. It kinda' works either way?


	2. Epilogue: To Find Your Way Back

**Epilogue: To Find Your Way Back**

Steve left the others to clean up and stash the leftovers, though between Tony and Thor there hadn't been many, and wandered back to his quarters. The story hadn't actually ended there: he'd told them the funny part, the bits they'd expected, and allowed them to laugh a little at his expense.

He'd kept the rest of that evening in '43 to himself. He'd withheld it, not because it was salacious or shameful, but because it was personal to him, in a way they wouldn't understand. He couldn't handle the thought of them laughing casually, or worse, looking at him with pity. Some of his memories weren't for reminiscing.

_**London, England. July 1943**_

_He felt his face grow even more flushed, and he was pretty sure the back of his shirt would be soaked through with sweat in the next minute or so. _

The men behind him suddenly fell silent.  
"Well, it looks like I've missed the pass-the-parcel" a crisp female voice said.  
Steve closed his eyes. "This is not happening." he told himself.  
He opened his eyes again and dared to look up.  
No, he _was_ officially in hell.  
Peggy Carter stood in front of him, a bemused look on her face. She looked from Mabel to the papier mache cake.  
"That must be one of those special American angel food cakes I've heard so much about" she said dryly.  
To Steve's relief, Mabel popped up off his lap, and held out her hand to Peggy. "Mabel Jones" she said, shaking Peggy's hand, and giving her a little curtsy.  
Behind him, Falsworth sniggered. Peggy looked even more confused.  
"Charmed." Peggy said, though clearly she wasn't.  
"Are you one of the Cap's friends, too?" she asked "We're about to go out dancing"  
"Is that so?" Peggy said lightly, giving Steve a bright smile, which made him cringe back into his chair. "How delightful. Captain Rogers and I _just work together_; I stopped by to wish him a happy birthday." She handed Steve a small parcel, wrapped neatly in brown paper.  
"Uh, thanks" Steve murmured.  
"Well, enjoy your _cake,_ Captain" Peggy said. She nodded to Howard and briskly left.  
Steve sat, completely stunned for a moment, and then bolted out of his chair after her, leaving the men in the room to exchange knowing smirks. Mabel folded her arms and pouted.  
"Don't worry about him, sweetheart. He doesn't know what he's doing, anyway." Bucky said, sidling up to Mabel.  
Steve caught up with Peggy at the front door, and grabbed her arm. She whirled around to face him, her mouth pressed into a frown.  
"I swear, you have the worst timing!" he breathed.  
Her eyebrows shot up. "If I'd arrived five minutes earlier, would that have put everything into context?" she shot back.  
Steve looked at his shoes again, and kicked the ground. "Yes." he muttered. "Well, no."  
Peggy's expression softened. "I know what men are like, trust me" she said. "But I know you're not _all _alike. Just open your present." She turned and pushed the door open to leave, but paused.  
"Happy birthday, Steve" she said quietly, and then left.  
Steve let out a long, angry breath, and then looked at the box he'd been clutching. He thumbed open the wrapping, and opened the small sturdy box. There was a note on top, written in Peggy's hand:

_In case you need help finding your way back._

Inside the box was a compass, not brand new, but well-kept, accurate and highly polished.  
Steve sighed and laughed quietly, and then slipped the compass into the pocket of his jacket, over his heart.

_**Now**_

Steve smiled and shook his head at himself. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the compass. It had taken weeks of pestering Fury to get his few remaining personal effects returned to him. The compass was a relic, rusted shut and unusable from its time buried with him in the ice, and there was no way of fixing it- but he still had it. Of everything he had lost over time it had somehow stayed with him; and he kept in close to his heart, where it belonged.

_End_

Author's note: Thank you to Voiceofdisbelief for looking this over to help me get the ending right. Obligatory disclaimer- these character's don't belong to me. Except for Mabel, who gave herself a bigger part than I'd intended. How about that ;) This story will move eventually to an Avengers movie category once one is set up. Thanks for R&R.


End file.
